Overwhelmed

I have so much to do! This Saturday is Faiths third birthday. I need to make her cake, which i still havent committed on a style yet, get the stuff for the activity, we are going to play pin the crown on the princess, get the balloons, plates, table covers, goody bags, and pinata stuffing and the prize for winning the game, girl and boy. grrrr. On a bright note, tomorrow i am going to town with Belinda to look at wedding dresses and brides maid dresses. I am the maid of honor!!! Actually i am her only brides maid but that is beside the point. Jeremy is the best man. Tonight is my cake class, so I better go put the finishing touches on my stuff.

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

No Fun!

This last week has totally sucked. Even going to the aquarium wasnt much fun (sorry ladies, not cuz of yall but cuz of us not feeling so hot). Started off last week with the horrendous pain, then the anxiety attacks, then the stomach flu, and ending again with the horrendous pain! Plus they still dont know what is wrong with my sister. They do know it is not her pancreas, they are checking her gall bladder some more. I have to cancel my plans for running in the beach to bay cuz i dont know if my back will be up for it or not. just sitting here it already hurts so i gotta get off now. grrrr.

No Barbie I do NOT know Ken!!!

I got the funniest, yet saddest phone call today. A lady called me today and the first words out of her mouth were "Do you know Ken?" Now, I did not immedietly reply cuz I was fighting the urge to say, "Well, no Barbie, I do not!" Instead I answered, "I think you have the wrong number." She then said, "Well, this number is on his phone and I wanted to know who you were. So, do you know Ken." Again I said, "No, I do not." She said, "Well, you talked at 11:30 Thursday night, now do you remember?" I told her that at 11:30 Thursday night I was asleep cuz my babies were asleep. But she still insisted that we talked. Finally I understood. She was checking up on her boyfriend!!!! I then politely explained to her that I was married with 2 kids and that if she was in fact checking up on her boyfriend I was not the person he was calling, he had dialed the wrong number. All the while I felt like yelling into the phone ," Listen up Barbie, I am an old married woman with 2 kids a lack of sleep, exercise, living on cheetoes and whatever else I can get my kids to eat, I have absolutely no energy, extra time, or sex drive to even entertain the thought of diddling your Ken so bug off!!!" But I controlled myself and she eventually hung up. I did get a good laugh at her expense though, so did my honey!!!

Creeping

As excited as I have been about going off my meds, I may be calling my doc tomorrow to go back on them. I have been feeling that feeling creep back up slowly this last week and I have been ignoring it, but after Friday night I can't ignore it anymore. I am in a constant state of panic again, and I hate it. Friday night I had either a back ache that made my stomach hurt or vice versa, well it hurt so bad I felt like I was going to throw up and it kept me up all night long, it is gone now and I feel fine, except my mind won't stop thinking about it. I automatically think worse case senarios. It is my main OCD symptom. I am pretty sure it was my back making my stomach hurt cuz I had done 4 miles in 1 hour dragging 60 + extra pounds behind me. My mom has had such bad back problems (and it was back she saw a doc) she thought she was having a heart attack. So this is genetic, but I can't stop thinking about it. I am shaking non stop, my hands and feet feel funny, I don't want Jeremy to go to work, I'm not eating again, I don't sleep, and all I do is cry. I feel like I am back to square one, and all because I was stupid enough to think that I was all better and could do it without meds. Well, now I need to put on a fake smile because I have to go host a baby shower. And please if you are going to comment on anything about this post do it about the depression or anxiety or psych meds, not the back or stomach pain or what you think it could be cuz that will make me worse, and don't tell me in person either, thanx for your support.

Are your panties in a bunch?

hahaha! We figured out what Faith's problem is. A little background. She has been pulling at herself for like, a month. So day before yesterday I had to take a look to see if she had an infection. Yep, a little one, so i put some cream on it all day, it is all cleared up. But what caused it?!?!?!? Her panties were too tight!!!! HAHAHA!! So anyways, she now has brand new princess panties courtesy of Nana, and all is better. I cleaned out her drawer so she won't put on the tight ones again. Don't YOU hate it when your panties are in a bunch?

When my fat pants are on

Today I have on my fat pants. Yes it is that time of the month, and boy am I a grump!! I am cramping, grouchy, hormonal, and all that goes with it. So, if you see me in my fat pants, fair warning, you may become a target of a mood missle!!!!
Finally we are getting some rain! Right now it is pouring down rain, and even thundering. It was cool, but now it is warm, or is that due to my fat pants? huh. oh well. Faith is loving the rain, she likes the sound. I am letting her on the back porch, it is inclosed so she is safe. Maybe my grass will green up. I really hope that this rain continues for a few days. We sure can use it. Ahhh here comes the cool air again.
Better go wake up Paige! She has been napping for 3 hours now. But I can't blame her. She had a rough time at playgroup today. A little boy twice her age kept pushing her down. My poor baby, all she did was smile at him and touch his chair! And she can barely walk as it is. Oh well, maybe I will get up the nerve and talk to his mommy next time I see her. I just don't know how to do it, and I don't want to cause any trouble because I really enjoy being around her. We'll see how it goes.